Big Lie, Small World
by Ocean
Summary: YY - Even though he wouldn't call their relationship perfect, he wouldn't call it horrible either. But when he catches his partner doing the one thing he'd never thought would happen, he's forced to reevaluate if the relationship is worth fighting for.
1. Lies That Bind

A/N: This was originally intended to be an addition to In A Word, but the idea took off and there was absolutely no way I was going to limit it to 600 words if it wanted to fly. So here you go. It's a subject matter that I actually have been toying with and have another story idea for, but it seeped in here when it saw the opportunity. Go figure. Oh well. It worked for Carry On, so hopefully it will work here.

Enjoy!

- Ocean

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Story dedicated to Hime no Ichigo, for without our former challenge this story wouldn't exist.

**Cingular: **(SING-gyuh-luhr) adjective  
1. Of or pertaining to a cingulum, an anatomical band or girdle on an animal or plant.  
2. Encircling, girdling, surrounding.

From Latin cingulum (girdle), from cingere (to gird). Other words  
derived from the same root are cincture, precinct, shingles, and succinct.

Title inspired by song: Big Lie, Small World, by Sting.

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**Big Lie, Small World**

Chapter One - Lies That Bind

Even now, seven years into the relationship, Atemu didn't know if he was satisfied with having Yuugi in his life. He didn't know how it had happened, or when, or why, or even if he had thought it was a possibility, but there it was. Had he wanted it? He couldn't answer that one, either. It was a concept that bothered him on long Sundays such as this, days that were neither cloudy nor sunny, neither overtly busy nor mundanely dull. The day simply _was_, paralleling him and his lover. They _were_. And nothing else. A state of just _being_ was an excruciating place to find one's self in.

Perhaps this was the reason he had been standing on the street corner near the entrance to the subway instead of at work? Maybe. He'd never liked being underground and it was a rare occurrence indeed when he'd relent to his partner and subject himself to the mass transit that twisted beneath the city like a wounded beast. He detested the forced closeness to other people, the fabricated containment, the screeching sound of metal-on-metal and the rocking of the steel entrapment as it constantly rebalanced itself along the tracks. Yuugi was irritated by his aversion, by the silent and gruff treatment he'd receive whenever they did take the subway, but he was willing to put up with Atemu's obtuse demeanor if it meant saving forty-five minutes on a commute.

Well, whatever the reason for his bland, blank-staring vigil at the corner of the entrance to the underground rail system, the fact that he was there was enough to explain why he learned first hand the secret his friends had planned to tell him in second person.

It was absurdly obvious that Yuugi didn't know he was being watched. The man had no reason to expect that he was visible to the one person who wasn't supposed to be observing him. If the day had unfolded as it should have, as it always had and presumably always _would_, Atemu would have been at the internet café adjacent to work, enjoying a brief respite on his lunch hour to relieve the tension induced by a profession whose sole purpose was to listen to the concerns, complaints, and fears of others. Of course, in hindsight, Atemu figured it was only fair that should he break routine Yuugi should as well, and so he felt a modicum of justness in the fact that Yuugi was emerging from a jewelry store with his arm around the waist of a woman, his nose buried deep in her neck, brazenly kissing her as she laughed and swung her arm at him with the hand clutching a small bag brandishing the logo of the store. He should have been at work himself, should have been secretly reading the email Atemu sent him every afternoon and contemplating his reply while hiding the intrusion from his boss. Considering that he hadn't sent an email today, however, Atemu wasn't too perturbed that he wouldn't be receiving one later on when he got home.

Still, it was an… unusual experience, watching as his proclaimed partner held, tickled, caressed and kissed a woman who was _not_ in their relationship. Atemu found himself slouching with his back against a streetlight, his arms loosely crossed over his chest and the tip of his toe balancing on the sidewalk, lazy scarlet eyes following Yuugi and the woman's antics. They weren't making much progress as they kept stopping to whisper into ears and laugh at private jokes. This, this _non_ reaction of his, was exactly what Atemu hated about having Yuugi in his life. Ever since the younger man appeared on the scene, the proud, lively, and affectionate man Atemu had been disappeared as though he had been nothing more than ash in a violent wind; to be replaced by a stoic, even tempered man that rarely angered, never delighted, and certainly never anticipated. He simply went into a state of being, but exactly what that 'being' entailed was a mystery to everyone, including himself. It wasn't as though Yuugi ran the show single handed. Quite to the contrary, Atemu and Yuugi were both stubborn, hard-headed, born leaders that did not do well when another dominant male was in the room. But somehow the battles between themselves were less caustic than with others, the insults and attacks held back to the degree of stinging instead of lashing, and an amiable complacency was established. That was the whole of their relationship.

The neutrality of the relationship had a cingular decisiveness that cut them whenever either tried to step outside its bounds. He didn't know how much Yuugi felt it, but Atemu did. Like honey, it was a thick coating that oozed into his skin and left his thoughts with a sticky residue that was anything but sweet. From where it originated he didn't know; all he knew was that he had never felt anything like it before until he met one Yuugi Motou.

He sighed, slowly. Perhaps what he was witnessing was a good thing. It was a change. It was _different_. It was… unexpected. Their relationship had never included the unexpected. Hell, even their first kiss had felt as though it'd been scripted by an author bored with his subject and who simply wanted to get the scene over with. Both of them had known it was coming, both had a relative idea of what it would feel like, and neither had been surprised afterwards. There were no sparks, no fireworks, no… awe. That's what it all really boiled down to, after all. Their entire relationship, seven years of knowing each other, sharing their lives, and not a single event had occurred that had interested or amazed either of them.

What was the point in a relationship like that? It wasn't easy, and lord knew it wasn't a comfortable position to be in, wondering if it was really worth the effort of getting out of bed that morning, or sending the email in the afternoon, or making the attempt to make a nice dinner for someone who was unable to tell the difference. It ran both ways, and after several years Yuugi and Atemu had just stopped trying to impress the other. It was a pitiful existence.

Atemu let his cell phone ring several times before he bothered to reach into his pocket and answer it. The ring tone – _Palladio_, a string interpretation with a dance beat – told him it was Yuugi calling, but he didn't need to hear it to know that while his phone was ringing Yuugi was busy silencing the woman with a playful kiss that was light and tantalizing and, overall, enduring.

"Hey aibou," Atemu said automatically when he brought the phone to his ear. He didn't blink at the hesitation between his greeting and the one Yuugi gave him, instead sliding his free hand around to rest at the small of his back as he watched his partner reluctantly pull away from his kissing endeavors.

"_Hey yourself, Até."_

Atemu offered the standard reply: "You know I hate that."

Yuugi offered the standard jibe: _"Why else do you think I use it?"_ He laughed lightly, unaware that Atemu knew it was because the woman had reached out to tickle him and that it wasn't because of their private joke_. "How's your day going dear?"_ he asked. The sentiment may have been able to cause a pang of endearment had Yuugi not purposefully leered at the woman when he'd said it and his action observed.

"Well," Atemu began, eyes narrowing in thought when the woman leaned forward and nipped at Yuugi's neck, meanwhile covering his mouth with her hand in playful jest for him to keep quiet. "I can honestly say that the day was progressing as any other."

"_Is that so?"_ Yuugi pulled away from the woman only to circle her and embrace her from behind, pinning her arms to her sides while she giggled and balancing his phone against his shoulder. _"Nothing new and exciting to report from the world of psychiatry?"_

"No." Atemu frowned mildly when he watched Yuugi angle the bottom of the phone away from his mouth so he could kiss his struggling captive into silence. "That world remains relatively steady."

"_Mm-hmm,"_ Yuugi hummed noncommittally, not really paying attention. _"That's good."_ He rubbed his nose against the woman's and refocused himself on the conversation, noting, _"Geeze, where are you? At the café? It's time for your lunch, isn't it? We usually don't get this good a reception."_

A snort of amusement at the irony of the question almost made itself heard, but Atemu was able to keep it in check by clearing his throat. "I'm outside." It wasn't a lie. And, as of yet, Yuugi hadn't lied to him in the conversation except for the faint air of indifference that drifted over the line. A sudden feeling of annoyance jolted through Atemu's chest and he jerked at the power of it, balmy and unfamiliar. It was the first emotion he'd felt that clearly in months and it left him startled.

"_Oh, okay,"_ Yuugi said. _"Anyway, I was calling to see if you could go to the store after work? We don't have anything for dinner since Jounouchi came over last weekend and I'm going to be stuck at the office until eight."_

"We could just order out tonight, save us both the trouble." The words left his mouth before Atemu had a chance to think about them, and he blinked in surprise when he heard the voice that was his but wasn't. Why had he said that? Was he trying to compromise? Over _dinner_? That was stupid.

"_I… suppose, we could do that,"_ Yuugi said haltingly, suspending his play with the woman to tilt his head into his phone. _"We still need to go to the store though, and I'd rather get that done so we don't have to worry about it tomorrow. I'd go but you'll be getting home before me tonight."_

Of course. "Of course." To do anything other than the norm was silly. And yet, it was a little thrilling as well, to have not simply accepted Yuugi's request but to have countered it with one of his own. That didn't bother him, not as much as he and Yuugi fought, but… why had he countered with something that could seem almost… personal? Many things they were, but personal really wasn't one of them. "I have no plans for this evening. It'll give me something to do."

And with that said Atemu found the unexpected: he was smiling. It wasn't large, or friendly, or even a happy one for that matter. Just a slight upturn of his lips into a symbol of enjoyment that he hadn't expressed in who knew how long. But he didn't feel light and airy. He felt large, angular, and above all as though he weighed as much as an ocean liner. The weight was internal, too, like his chest was bearing the pressure and barely surviving the strain, his breath coming both easily and painfully in odd contradiction. That was when it hit him. That was when it all began to make sense and the professional in him laid out the pieces and began reading them like Tarot cards.

Idiot, Atemu thought to himself. You _care_.

He looked up, his eyes having fallen to his feet as the realization of caring hit him with the subtlety of a bus, and found Yuugi and the woman again. The pair was standing quietly together in a soft embrace, much subdued from their previous actions. Yuugi, though resting his chin on the top of her head and rubbing his hand slowly along her back, was caught in a frown that was unappealing on his features and revealed that his thoughts were not with the woman in his arms, but rather on the phone again in his hand.

"You were in good spirits today," Atemu said carefully, the smile morphing into a fleeting grimace that disappeared as soon as it was formed. It was replaced by what he felt was a neutral expression. "I hope you've had good company."

"_Atemu?"_ Yuugi asked quietly. He paused, both his words and his movements against the woman in his arms, before asking, _"What's going on?"_

"Not a thing dear," Atemu answered, his eyes achieving a frightful clarity. A juvenile little man he was to let himself get caught up in and thrown by the notion of caring. He knew he was tired, but he didn't know he was this exhausted as to let his mind wander into the introspective. Maybe it was a good thing that Yuugi would be out late tonight. He could use the peace in the house to get some much needed sleep. "Everything's taken care of. I'll see you when you get home."

"_But-!"_

"Hmm?" Atemu's eyes narrowed again when he saw Yuugi start forward, nearly toppling the woman against his chest. The movement caught his attention and Yuugi hurried to steady her, mouthing his apology. Atemu smiled truthfully this time. It was nice to know that Yuugi was still capable of caring. Even if it wasn't for him.

"_Um… I uh… don't forget the milk, okay?"_ Yuugi said weakly.

Atemu chuckled, the sound much lower in his throat than he'd intended it to be. "I won't."

There was a vehement, piercing wail that sliced at the eardrums and penetrated the heart of every pedestrian. Atemu turned his head towards the sound, looking up the street where cars were pulling over to the side. Eventually a fire engine appeared, making a slow, lumbering march through the afternoon traffic, chirping and clipping its siren in an effort to gain the attention of an uncooperative motorist. Atemu, satisfied with knowing the source of the sound, began to turn back in Yuugi's direction when his partner's voice came forcefully clear over the phone.

"_Atemu, _where_ are you?!"_

"Like I said, aibou," Atemu repeated, catching sight of Yuugi who was looking all around himself and ignoring the inquiries of the woman with him. He didn't believe that Yuugi would ever find him in the crowd, even though he had most certainly heard the siren over the phone. "I'm outside." But as he finished speaking Yuugi turned in the only direction that would have revealed his location and spotted him, mouth dropping open and violet eyes widening to an almost comical size. Atemu looked at him blankly, feeling neither exposed nor angered. Really, all he felt was tired. And perhaps, if he were strong enough to admit it to himself, just a little sad. He blinked, once, the action only instilling his need for sleep, and decided it was time for him to go home.

"See you tonight, Yuugi," he said quietly, and closed his phone while he turned and descended the stairs to the subway.

He still hated the subway, but for once he agreed with Yuugi. It was worth tolerating if it meant he would get home that much faster.

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_To be continued…_


	2. Differing Perspective

A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed the first chapter! I truly appreciate the comments and the support. I know Yuugi was OC, and it's very strange because every time I write him and Atemu as _see_ them in whatever personality I'm writing, so they don't appear OC to me. I forget that you guys aren't always in my head. Heh, sorry. Just to assuage any fears that may be out there, I could never write a story where Yuugi and Atemu didn't wind up together at the end, so please don't think that's going to happen and stop reading because of that, or the first few paragraphs of this chapter. Yuugi's going to turn around a bit at the end, and then next chapter will include the fireworks.

I hope you enjoy, and I'll see you next chapter!

- Ocean

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Chapter Two – Differing Perspective

Yuugi leaned over the counter, his violet eyes reflecting the light off the immaculate glass that housed the specific piece of jewelry he was interested in. Well, to be accurate, it wasn't _he_ who was interested in it, but his companion. Either way, a grin pulled itself across his lips as he asked the jeweler to remove the trinket for closer inspection.

"So this is the one you like, huh?" Yuugi asked once he took hold of the gold bracelet, allowing it to lace through his fingers when he held it up for her perusal. "Of all the jewelry in the store, you want this dainty little thing." He received a glare for his comments before the woman nodded and gave him a smile that lit up a room that was already glaring.

Pleased with himself, Yuugi handed the bracelet back to the jeweler to be wrapped and purchased. He braced his elbow on the glass and leaned into it, his hands lightly clasped and head tilted in curiosity as his female companion took the opportunity to further explore the store.

What a refreshing day it had been. Leaving for work that morning before Atemu – which only happened because his partner was running late – Yuugi had decided during his drive that he was in no mood to spend such a beautiful day stuck in an office, and on a whim had turned his car in the direction of his playmate. She had been pleasantly surprised to find him standing on her doorstep unannounced, and had immediately agreed to join him in playing hooky so they could spend the day together. It wasn't often that the two could steal more than a few hours and they both reveled in the prospect of spending the day free from reality.

Yuugi remembered exactly how he met her. After another one of his many arguments with Atemu during that particularly taxing month, Yuugi had stormed out of the apartment only to find himself at the grocery store, releasing his anger in the produce aisle. Blindly grabbing at a pile of peaches, unaware of the bruises he was causing to the fruit, his not-so-discreet mutterings to himself were interrupted when a woman had come up beside him and asked, "Rough day?" He had dropped the peach he'd been holding, nearly causing an avalanche of fruit, and turned on her with the expectation of seeing sympathy on her face. Instead he found humor. It was such a blow to his stressed mind that he invited her over to the coffee shop within the store for the simple reason that he needed to sit down.

Smiling at the memory, Yuugi lowered his eyes to his hands. He never expected that such a chance encounter would ever lead to this; to him standing in a jewelry store with someone other than Atemu, thrilled that he was able to buy his companion an expensive, beautiful symbol of his affection. He hadn't been looking for a relationship, never even considered himself to be the type of person who wouldn't remain strictly monogamous, but here he was. And it had been so unbelievingly easy to hide it from Atemu that Yuugi almost felt obligated to keep the charade going.

The thought made him frown lightly. It had been easy because Atemu had been so disinterested in his daily affairs that the man barely even asked Yuugi how his day was going with any sort of honesty. The question was automatic, expected, and Yuugi responded in the same bland tones that maintained the relationship without instigating another argument. It was just so _droll_. Everything about the couple known as 'Atemu and Yuugi' was exceedingly dull and monotonous, and Yuugi didn't have a clue how things had gotten that way. But when he thought about it, he couldn't remember their relationship ever being any different. It wasn't a _bad_ relationship, not in the way others used the word; there was no physical violence, and their 'battle sequences,' as Yuugi called them, were simply a part of existence. However it wasn't _good_, because Yuugi didn't look forward to waking up every morning next to Atemu, nor was he ever in a rush to get home to be with him.

Why was he even with Atemu in the first place? He couldn't say it was because he was in love, nor did he have any delusion as to think that Atemu was in love with him. They were familiar with each other, and perhaps, if he were feeling bold, he would go so far as to say that occasionally they were fond of each other, but anything deeper than that? No, not really. Not even close.

Seven years. Seven years of attaching himself to someone who didn't make him feel… didn't make him _feel_. He blinked in surprise, unprepared for the abruptness of the statement. Was that what it was? Atemu didn't make him feel? That _he_ didn't make _Atemu_ feel? The flat voices, the platonic hugs and kisses that were mechanical, knee-jerk reactions to the fact that they were life partners… could it all be explained by both of them failing to make the other feel? And if that were the case, what on earth should they do about it? Yuugi didn't even know if he had the desire to care to find out.

He chuckled to himself. He was wrong on one thing. Their arguments certainly made both of them feel _something_ or they wouldn't keep having them. But what, exactly, he didn't know.

Brought out of his thoughts by the jeweler handing him a small bag, complete with gold tissue paper and a black velvet box for the bracelet, Yuugi shook his head to get his primary relationship out of his mind so he could return to this fanciful trip from reality. He had ignored his companion long enough, and he was in the mood for some good times. With a smirk that oozed mischievous intent, Yuugi dangled the bag in front of his companion and impishly grinned when she took it and kissed him on the corner of his mouth.

It was so much simpler with her. She responded, she _felt_, and she had no problem sharing this with Yuugi.

Spirits restored, Yuugi wrapped his arm around her waist and with a wave of his hand at the jeweler guided her out the store. It was nearing lunch time and his appetite was awakening to the aroma of a most pleasurable afternoon. He couldn't resist tickling her when she punched him playfully in the shoulder, and her laughter bubbled inside him, making him feel light and airy and altogether free from the stresses of the real world. The tickling progressed to prolonged touches, and soon neither of them cared that they were in public while they let their hands roam along rounded shoulders, long limbs and strong backs. Yuugi did have the presence of mind to step back against the nearest building, which still happened to be the jewelry store, but it was more for savoring the moment than it was for propriety's sake. After a moment of smiling into her sparkling eyes, Yuugi leaned in and had a pleasantly sluggish appetizer of a kiss.

When she pulled back she asked, "Have any special plans for this evening?"

"Mmm," Yuugi hummed, rocking her from side to side. "I don't know. Do I?" he asked with a cheeky grin.

"Yes, you most certainly do," she said, laughing. "You don't think I'm just going to let you barge into my day and take it over without a little compensation, do you?"

Yuugi rolled his eyes, amused, but unwilling to express it any further. A delightful invitation that was. He checked his watch, swinging her around to look at his wrist behind her back in favor of not releasing her waist. Yuugi noted that it was just about time for Atemu to be on his lunch break. He'd be writing him his customary email soon, and seeing as how he wasn't near a computer, Yuugi was going to have to make a preemptive strike in order to waylay suspicion about an unanswered letter. Oh well. It should be painless enough. Reaching into his pocket Yuugi removed his cell phone, pressing and holding down the speed dial key programmed for his partner's phone. She tried to ask him if he was calling Atemu but was silenced by a kiss that curled her toes with its affection.

It was odd, though, Yuugi thought as he kissed her and listened to the phone ring. He'd never talked to Atemu when he'd been flirting with her before, and though he never thought it would be awkward after the relationship had progressed to the next level, he found a nervous sloshing form in the pit of his stomach. It was small, barely there, but the fact that it was noticeable was enough to make Yuugi pause. For a lightning quick moment the thought that what he was doing was wrong slashed through his mind, but it was gone just as quickly with the sweet caress down his side that made him shudder.

"_Hey aibou."_

There were several moments that passed between Atemu answering the phone and Yuugi's ability to answer, seeing as how she simply wasn't letting go of his mouth and he was finding it difficult to argue. Eventually he was able to break free and even his breath so he could reply. "Hey yourself, Até." He waited for the snap he knew would come.

"_You know I hate that."_

"Why else do you think I use it?" Yuugi was just barely able to get the words out of his mouth when she reached forward and tickled his stomach, purposefully trying to ruin his conversation by making him laugh inappropriately. He was able to tone it down enough that Atemu would interpret it as a familiar sound. "How's your day going dear?" he asked, leering at her in warning to keep her hands to herself, thank you very much, while simultaneously extending the endearment to her. It made her smile, which made him smile, which made his stomach churn uncomfortably for reasons he didn't understand.

"_Well, I can honestly say that the day was progressing as any other."_

"Is that so?" Yuugi asked, missing Atemu's use of past tense as he removed her hand from his mouth and circled behind her, pining his phone between his ear and shoulder so he could wrap his arms around her and keep her devious hands well clasped to her sides and away from his body. "Nothing new and exciting to report from the world of psychiatry?" He was forced to lean down and kiss her for she simply would not stop laughing at his predicament, angling his phone away so there'd be no chance of Atemu hearing her voice or the sounds of the kiss.

"_No. That world remains relatively steady."_

"Mm-hmm." Gods, was she a good kisser. It was all he could think despite the acid that boiled in his stomach with Atemu's words. "That's good." He rubbed his nose against hers, lost in the happiness she provided him. But even though he was thoroughly distracted, Yuugi did notice the amazing clarity of the connection on the phone. "Geeze, where are you? At the café? It's time for your lunch, isn't it? We usually don't get this good a reception." They _never_ had this clear a reception when Atemu was at the internet café.

"_I'm outside." _

The lack of hesitation in the reply assured Yuugi that Atemu was telling the truth. He was simply standing outside the café, and that was probably why it had taken him so long to answer the phone as he maneuvered his way through the crowd to reach the door. He could say a lot about Atemu, but Yuugi could not call the man a liar. He was brazenly honest. _When_ you could get him to talk. This stubbornness was the cause of half of their arguments alone. Of course, Yuugi's own habit of being amazingly self-centered was an instigator of many of their 'battle sequences' as well.

"Oh, okay," Yuugi said. His stomach was still bothering him, and it had enough of his attention to pull him away from the woman in his arms and actually think about the conversation and the man on the other end of the line. Why this sudden feeling that he wanted to throw up? "Anyway, I was calling to see if you could go to the store after work? We don't have anything for dinner since Jounouchi came over last weekend and I'm going to be stuck at the office until eight."

There, he thought. Kill three birds with one stone. Give Atemu something to do, get food back _in_to the house, and cover himself long enough to enjoy her company for that much longer. Yuugi felt a little better about things, which made him frown. Wait, what? Was that guilt that had made him think of something for Atemu to do while _he_ was out having an affair?

_Having an affair?_

Those were three words Yuugi'd never put in the same sentence before, and it included one that he had _never_ used in relation to what he and the woman in his arms were doing. His mouth suddenly tasted extremely bitter to him, way in the back on his tongue, and he tried to force a swallow down a throat that was not inclined to be cooperative.

"_We could just order out tonight, save us both the trouble."_ Atemu said.

Yuugi distinctly heard the tilt in Atemu's voice at the end of the statement, making it sound almost like a question, like a… like a _plea_? To stay in? But… that wasn't something they usually asked each other to do. They didn't plan evenings at home, and certainly not in the middle of the day. Why was Atemu even thinking of such a thing? Couldn't he have just agreed like he always did, just have said that that would be fine and he'd go to the store and did they need anything in particular and he'd see him later tonight? Why was he choosing _now_ to do something unexpected? And worst of all…

… why did it make Yuugi feel horrible about himself? He felt… horrible. From the churning in his stomach, to the bitterness on his tongue, to the headache from a neck he didn't even know he had tensed and to the concerned look she was giving him over her shoulder, he felt horrible.

He tilted his head into his phone, as though the added pressure would allow him to somehow connect with Atemu and figure out what the hell was going on. "I… suppose, we could do that," Yuugi had difficulty saying, releasing the woman in his arms to stand on her own. "We still need to go to the store though," he continued, his mouth trying to find a way to save him from the uncomfortable feelings that were creeping up his legs like overeager vines, "and I'd rather get that done so we don't have to worry about it tomorrow. I'd go but you'll be getting home before me tonight." Which was true – which would have _still _been true even if he wasn't –

"_Of course,"_ Atemu said, and Yuugi winced at the tone of his voice, sullen and accepting, the first definitive sign of emotion he'd shown in the entire conversation. _"I have no plans for this evening. It'll give me something to do."_

That was exactly what Yuugi had wanted Atemu to think, but now that their thoughts were running parallel he didn't like it. Not at all. _Not at all_. She noticed the tension in him and stepped forward to wrap her arms around his chest, nestling her head beneath his chin, offering her quiet support to what she could only assume was a reaction to something Atemu had said. Yuugi automatically curled his arm to place his hand on her back, not fully aware who it was that he was holding, his free hand rising to take hold of the phone so it wouldn't fall with the new position. He didn't know what to think about the whole conversation. He didn't know what to think about the whole situation… situations… His head hurt trying to think about it, and Yuugi had the distinct impression that his heart wasn't far behind. Suddenly, he just felt immensely drained. That was, until Atemu spoke again.

"_You were in good spirits today,"_ Atemu said calmly. _"I hope you've had good company."_

Finally, Yuugi was alert enough to listen to the warning bells that were ringing with their most obnoxious trill in a desperate attempt to gain his attention. He frowned deeply, the action causing worry in the woman in his arms, and she tilted her head to gain his interest but failed. Yuugi's eyes were distant with worry. Her own alarm grew when his hand stilled on her back.

"Atemu?" Yuugi asked breathlessly. "What's going on?" And how had Atemu read his fall in mood so easily? He knew he hadn't given it away in his voice, even if his hesitation over dinner at home had been awkward. It would have been awkward regardless of his having an – regardless!

"_Not a thing dear,"_ Atemu answered. _"Everything's taken care of. I'll see you when you get home."_

_Dear?_ Now? "But-!"

"_Hmm?"_

The affectionate quality behind the hum of inquiry pulled at Yuugi's chest and he found himself falling forward, having already been off-balance in the sudden, hysterical urge to stop Atemu from hanging up the phone. From cutting him off. From allowing him to get away with his lies. He hadn't been expecting the emotion, hadn't even considered it existed for him, and it left him faltering. "Um… I uh…" he started, but was unable to voice what he wanted to say for the simple fact he didn't know what that was. Instead, at a loss for words, he finished lamely, "Don't forget the milk, okay?"

"_I won't."_

And the deep, he could almost say pained chuckle that followed left Yuugi frozen. Though the acid in his stomach was still boiling with a vengeance, much to his dismay.

The moment was broken with the loud screech of a siren, and Yuugi turned his head to find the source, momentarily forgetting the woman he was with in search of the obtrusive noise. It wasn't until the third time he heard the shrill sound that he realized that not only could he hear the siren from the fire engine on the street, _but he could hear it over the phone._ The possibility of two fire engines releasing their warnings at exactly the same time and in exactly the same pattern in different parts of the city was infinitesimal. And that could only mean one thing.

"Atemu, _where_ are you?!" he demanded, anger flaring in him at the possibility of the impossible. He stepped away from his play date, ignoring her questions as he turned his head from side to side like a determined sprinkler eager to reach every inch of the yard. He just knew that Atemu was watching, was _here_ somewhere, and damn it all if he wasn't going to find him and… and do… he was going to find him first. He'd worry about pummeling him later.

"_Like I said, aibou, I'm outside."_

And Yuugi found him, just as he finished speaking, and all the anger that had surged to the surface in its righteousness instantly retreated with its tail between its legs at the sight of Atemu leaning against the street light. There wasn't a sign of resentment on his face, not a bit of rage emanating from his eyes. There was simple, calm acceptance of the situation. The man didn't even seem upset that he had been spotted. But one thing Yuugi did notice was the fatigue that encircled his partner like a bear hug, and it made his eyes widen in disbelief. How… when had Atemu become so tired? And why the hell hadn't he noticed? You don't sleep next to someone for seven years and not notice when they can barely stand!

"_See you tonight, Yuugi,"_ he heard Atemu say quietly, without bite, without the hint of accusation.

Yuugi watched him close his phone before turning around and… walking into the subway?! But Atemu hated the subway! He avoided it like the plague. There was only one reason Yuugi could think of for Atemu to voluntarily take the subway, and that was a dire need to get away. Atemu didn't run often, but when he did, he did it fast and efficiently.

"Yuugi?" his date asked, placing a concerned hand on his shoulder. He didn't turn around, suddenly not in the mood for airy fantasies or the lightness that she offered. But he didn't believe it, and so turned and grasped her tightly, kissing her with an enthusiastic harshness neither of them expected. She stiffened in his arms but relented, unsure why Yuugi was kissing her but not in a position to complain about it.

As the kiss continued it didn't progress, and try as he might Yuugi could find none of the enjoyment he had experienced before he'd called Atemu. Breaking away slowly, lost in conflicting thoughts of loyalty, he found he couldn't bring himself to do anything more than close his eyes and shake his head against the stark truth. He had been discovered. And what had Atemu done? Wished him a good day and told him he'd see him at home. It was equivalent to giving him permission to continue with the… with the affair. At least for the rest of the day.

And boy, did that make his blood boil.

"Yuugi?" she asked again when he wouldn't say anything. "Was that Atemu?" She chewed on her lip when Yuugi nodded. "So he saw us," she conceded, unaffected by Yuugi's disgruntled snort. "Well, I suppose it was bound to happen eventually. I guess it's for the best, anyway. Yeah, right," she continued, convincing herself of her certainty. "This is good, Yuugi, you see? We don't have to go around lying anymore."

Yuugi opened one eye to look at her hopeful face, making it quite clear that he did not share her optimism. "What are you saying?"

"This is our opportunity, isn't it?" she asked, her brows creasing in worry when Yuugi's expression did not soften. "He saw us, but all he did was walk away. He didn't even look angry. Maybe this… I don't know, gives him an opportunity too?"

"Our opportunity?" Yuugi repeated quietly, testing the words. Honestly, he had never thought about the two of _them_ in terms of having an opportunity. He was pretty sure he knew what she was talking about, and though it was fun spending time with her, he didn't know if he was willing to make the sacrifice that she was implying.

"Don't you want to?" she asked, with a little bit of fear in her voice. "Why else are we here if you don't want to?" When Yuugi refused to answer, to do nothing more than turn his head to the side and let his gaze melt into the horizon she grew angry. "Damnit Yuugi!" she said, balling her fists and slamming them into his chest. "Isn't this what you wanted? Isn't this why I risked being called the 'other woman' and a slut? Isn't this why you took precautions to ensure we had time for each other every week? If your goal wasn't to eventually leave him for me then what the hell were we doing?!"

"I don't know!" Yuugi shouted. He pushed her back, out of his arms, which was easy to do because of her shock at his tone and his volume. Never had she experienced this side of him, though she heard him talk of it often enough in relation to his fights with Atemu. "I don't know what the hell I'm doing! I haven't known for _seven_ _years_." Throwing his hands up in frustration Yuugi turned his back to her and tossed a hand into his hair, pulling on the strands, the other pressed into his hip. "I don't even know why I was with him in the first place!"

"Then leave," she said quietly. "Now's your chance. All you have to do is leave and you can do whatever you want."

That was the problem. If she had told him that any time before today he would have probably agreed with her. He may not have acted on it, but he would have agreed with her. And if he hadn't talked to Atemu today, he may have taken her up on her earlier offer for a weekend getaway. If Atemu hadn't been able to stir emotion in him, to make him _feel_, she would have had a very good argument. And to make him feel what he did: affection, concern, familiarity… _closeness. _Seven years of your life was a long time, and Yuugi couldn't just cut the ties to a man he had shared so much with, even if it wasn't all good times and lollipops. Faced with the opportunity to leave him, Yuugi found the acid levels in his stomach triple and the sourness return in his mouth and the warning bells ring with their chorus, and for once he wasn't going to be so thick as to ignore them.

"I can't just leave him like that," he whispered, then said more strongly after he turned to face her, "I don't _want_ to leave him."

She didn't say anything for a long moment. "You _bastard_," she finally seethed when Yuugi offered no further explanation. "You bastard! I'll tell you this," she said, waving her hand at him in her fury, "you can't have both of us any more. Choose right now."

Yuugi stared at her, momentarily paralyzed with the choice he was being forced to make. His eyes glowed with indignation, and though he was just as much at fault for this as she was, he could not forgive her for breaking the one rule they had agreed on: never to ask the other to choose between their real life and each other.

The image of Atemu's fatigue, propped against the street lamp, blinking languidly and heading down the stairs to the subway, Yuugi was pulled in a direction he'd never dreamed he'd choose again.

Taking a few steps backwards, Yuugi spread his hands in reprimand. "You can keep the bracelet," he said, his voice dripping with his displeasure. "I have no use for it." The bag landed angrily at his feet, and it was only after a lengthy internal debate that he decided to bend down and pick it up. "You sure?" he asked, raising his eyebrow skeptically.

"Go to hell," she spat, turning on her heal and marching down the sidewalk.

"Tch, like that isn't already going to happen," Yuugi muttered. Tucking his hands into his pockets he began walking in the direction of his office. If he wasn't going to spend the day out on a date, he might as well go to work.

Following Atemu never crossed his mind.

* * *

_To be continued…_


	3. Thieves In the Night

A/N: Okay, I lied. This long chapter, then one more short one. I'm sorry for the wait, no plausible excuses, so all I'll say is that I hope you enjoy the paces I put Atemu and Yuugi through.

Enjoy!

- Ocean

* * *

Chapter Three – Thieves In the Night

When Yuugi got home that evening it was to find Atemu asleep on the couch. The man was sprawled in what should have been an uncomfortable position but that Yuugi knew from experience was heaven to a tired body; laying on his right hip, his knees crossed but ankles apart, with his torso twisted so that his shoulders were laying flat on the cushions, his arms folded over his stomach and extended along his side. Yuugi sighed, walking over to the back of the couch and spreading his hands along its cushion, bracing himself as he looked at his partner. He wasn't all that thrilled to find Atemu in the position he was in. It was what the man did every time he was overwhelmed by something. Rather than talk about his problems Atemu would hold them inside until he could get home and sleep. How long he slept revealed how deeply he was struggling with his emotions; it was a direct relation that Atemu was only minimally aware of.

"Atemu," Yuugi said in his normal voice. He wasn't in the mood to be gentle about waking the man, his irritation at finding Atemu repressing _again_, especially after the day Yuugi'd had, leaving him with little patience.

Atemu jumped a bit at the sound of his name, but it didn't startle him into wakefulness. He rolled his head towards the voice, his eyes slowly opening after he clenched them shut against the suddenly recognizable light trying to penetrate his eyelids. Blinking when he saw Yuugi, he took the opportunity to rub his hand over his face before focusing on the new arrival.

"Yuugi," Atemu said by way of greeting. "You're home."

"How long have you been asleep?"

Atemu scrunched his face in thought. "What time is it?"

"Almost nine," Yuugi said, straightening and crossing his arms loosely over his chest.

"Hn." Atemu raised himself onto an elbow and bent one knee, continuing to scrub at his face in his effort to wake. "About three, four hours. Somewhere in there."

"_Shit_," Yuugi breathed. And with the trouble Atemu was having stiring himself it was obvious that the man would have continued sleeping for at least another hour, if not more, and that meant that the depth of this particular struggle was on par with his father's illness and subsequent death. Yuugi's fingers dug into the muscles of his arms, causing small pain points that failed to push their way passed the anger that was surging through him like a charging bull. He took a deep breath and, when that didn't work, shook his head theatrically and stormed his way into the kitchen.

Atemu pulled himself upright at Yuugi's terse departure, his expression clearly indicating his growing agitation and confusion. "What are you so upset about?" he muttered under his breath, not really concerned if Yuugi was able to hear him or not. "I went to the store like you asked before I came home," he said louder, projecting his voice to the kitchen, "You can't be upset with me over that."

The slamming of the refrigerator door and a few drawers and cupboards was Yuugi's response. Sighing in recognition of his lover's mood Atemu stood and made his way into the kitchen, his arms crossed stiffly across his chest. He watched as Yuugi filled a pot with water and nearly missed placing it on the stove in his temper before igniting the burner. The task accomplished, the younger man placed his hands on his hips, gripping the bone tightly, and clenched his teeth, pointedly not looking at Atemu.

"Fine then," Atemu said after several moments of tense silence, save for the sound of the stove and the water beginning to boil. He uncrossed his arms and reached for the refrigerator which, to his chagrin, Yuugi had rearranged during his fit, and pushed aside the milk he intentionally did not forget to purchase to take hold of a take-out bag. He tossed it onto the kitchen table where it made an audible _thud_ that forced Yuugi to turn around and take note of it. He allowed the hint of a glower to cross over his features as Yuugi stared incredulously at the sandwiches from his favorite restaurant. "Let's just end this day as quickly as possible," Atemu said, turning off the stove and grabbing a chair at the table as he began to unwrap his portion of dinner.

The air held all the pretense of one of their glorious Battle Sequences, and as tired as he should have been Yuugi found the prospect too irresistible to ignore. Atemu's actions – or lack thereof – earlier in the day had been slowly grating on the nerves beneath his skin and he was eager for a chance to release the tension. In a far more subdued manner than Atemu had he took a seat at the opposite end of the table, maintaining his watchful stare while reaching for his sandwich.

Both men ate in relative silence, the atmosphere pregnant with dramatic pause. When they were done, and both were crumpling the paper their sandwiches had been wrapped in, in preparation for disposal, the momentary truce was called off.

"I don't know what game you're playing here," Yuugi said in a voice wrapped in loathing, "but I'm having none of it. I don't _deserve_ it," he added for good measure.

Atemu's eyes narrowed and he halted his effort to throw away the remnants of dinner. "What game might that be?"

Yuugi slammed his hand on the table, satisfied when Atemu flinched involuntarily despite the fact that the action didn't reach his eyes. "This damn silent treatment of yours! I can't stand it anymore. I haven't been able to stand it for years and I'm sick of it and you're going to stop it _right_ now."

With a sigh Atemu raised his hands to his eyes and covered them, his body slumping into the chair and over the table. "And what would you have me say, Yuugi, that you don't already know?" he eventually asked.

Yuugi scoffed, crossing both his legs and arms in agitation while rolling his eyes. "_How_ would I know dear?" When Atemu didn't attempt an answer Yuugi had to bite his lip to keep from screaming at him. "I can't know if you don't tell me," he said. "I'm not psychic." The tension between them was palpable but familiar in that awful way that death resides in nursing homes. Yuugi allowed his eyes to drift to the side, and he and his partner sat in silence for six full minutes before either of them spoke again.

"What?" Yuugi asked distractedly when he heard a murmur from the other end of the table.

Atemu sprawled his fingers so he could see through them, his hand still supporting the weight of his head. "I said," he began slowly, "what would it change?"

Confusion flitted over Yuugi's face. "Change? What do you mean?"

"I don't know," Atemu sighed harshly and much too quickly to have been a controlled response. He threw his hands to the side as he stood and made to pace, forgoing the action after a failed attempt in favor of dashing out of the kitchen, the words "I don't understand anything anymore" following in his wake.

Though stunned by the sudden shift in mood Yuugi instantly followed Atemu, unwilling to allow him to run from a conversation that hadn't even begun. It took his longest strides to catch up with the taller man, and when he did he reached out to grab the arm that had flung itself behind his partner in his haste to vacate the kitchen. What he didn't expect was that when he made contact it would cause Atemu to lash out, turning and violently ramming him against the wall in the hallway, his legs braced beneath him so the elder had leverage to push his forearm against Yuugi's throat while his free hand shoved itself flat against the wall by Yuugi's ear.

His breath was forced out of him and his throat felt thick and wet in his efforts to breathe against the restraint placed upon it, and Yuugi was certain he would have been absolutely livid at the treatment – and, perhaps, a bit frightened – had it not been for the anger simply bleeding from Atemu's narrowed eyes and snarling lips, and the words the man next spoke.

"Don't you _dare_ touch me. You have most certainly lost that privilege!"

Yuugi's eyes widened in sudden, clear, sharp and painful understanding. "This afternoon," he whispered to himself, wincing when Atemu pushed harder against his throat for speaking. "It _did_ bother you." Indignation flared and fueled his desire to shove back against Atemu's arm, ignoring the soreness in his throat and the raspy quality of his voice because of the diminished air he was receiving. "Then why the hell didn't you say anything?!"

It was Atemu's turn to look surprised and he backed away from Yuugi, turning his body that still radiated his ire to hide the new emotion he just knew was evident on his face. Yuugi forced a couple of coughs to get the tenderness in his throat to lessen and force air back into his lungs, all the while fixated on this new piece of information. "Damn it Atemu, say something!" he said, stepping away from the blasted wall.

Atemu visibly swallowed and lowered his head to conceal his face from Yuugi. He may no longer of had the energy to fight against answering, but he'd be damned if he'd give Yuugi the victory of seeing the emotion he'd been able to stir.

"You looked… you looked happy," Atemu said quietly. He licked his now dry lips, his ragged, heated breath having sucked all the moisture from them. "I haven't seen you happy in a long time."

Yuugi blinked at the words, impatiently waiting for his partner to continue, his features darkening as the realization came that Atemu had nothing more to say. "That's it?" he demanded, head jutting forward in his disbelief. He took another step when Atemu crossed his arms defensively and sneered at him. "So let me get this straight. You catch me fooling around – _yes_!" he reiterated when Atemu flinched at his choice of words and opted to march to the other side of the room with a snarl. "You catch me and the only thing that jumps to that mind of yours is, 'Gee, he looks happy, so I won't say anything?' Bullshit! I don't buy that for a second!"

"No surprise _there_," Atemu growled. He shot an accusing glare over his shoulder, eyebrows drawn taught over narrowed eyes. "I'd rue the day you actually took me at my word."

Yuugi gaped but quickly recovered. "Oh, just stop already. Just stop it."

Both men turned their back to each other, each steaming in their half of the argument. "Know why I didn't say anything?" Atemu finally asked, his voice holding no warmth in it. He didn't wait for Yuugi to acknowledge him before continuing, "Because it wouldn't have made any difference."

"That's weak," Yuugi countered.

"It may be," Atemu agreed, leaning his shoulder against the wall and leering at Yuugi from the corner of his eye. "That doesn't deny its truthfulness."

The words stung, low and deep and raw in his belly, and Yuugi felt the dire need to share his discomfort, to force Atemu to hurt just as much as he did. For a fleeting moment his mind tried to alert him to the honesty of the statement; had Atemu said anything when Yuugi spotted him on the street the younger man had been in the frame of mind to attack him on the spot based purely on the principle of being discovered. He was defensive and he knew it and, what was worse - emphasized with a sickening churn of his stomach that brought bile up the back of his throat – this act of his was nothing new. Still, he couldn't circumvent the need to strike.

"Have any idea how long I've been with her, _Até_?"

Atemu's eyes widened in disbelief, his hands clenching against his biceps. Yuugi lowered his head and his voice to match the momentary position of power shifting towards him. A sardonic smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, but was able to do little more than move his lips in a barely discernable twitch.

"You really didn't know, did you?" Yuugi asked dryly. He shook his head slowly, relaxing his posture. "I told myself that you were just turning a blind eye, but I never actually believed it."

"Don't…" Atemu said, his voice distant as he tried to shut out his partner's words.

"I wonder how long I could have gotten away with it?" Yuugi mused, ignoring Atemu's shrinking posture as he tried to dissolve into the wall. He thought quietly about his own question, lowering his eyes to the floor before raising them again to look at Atemu, only then noticing the clenched eyes and tense jaw. "Really?" he asked in genuine surprise. "It hurts that much?"

"Stop it," Atemu quickly whispered.

"But why?"

Atemu couldn't hold it in any longer. "_Because_, you egotistical _jerk_," he snapped, pushing away from the wall and nearly throwing himself at Yuugi, barely able to restrain from slamming his hand into his partner's shoulder and again trapping him against the nearest, hardest surface. "For some inexplicable reason I _do_ give a damn about you, even against my better judgment. _Because_," he said as he fisted the front of Yuugi's shirt, preparing to yank on it but unable to bring himself to do so, instead releasing the now wrinkled material in favor of glaring into Yuugi's considerably large, shocked eyes.

"Because," Atemu repeated, bringing his voice scarcely under control, "what you were, _are,_ doing, and the joy you've had in telling me about it, would hurt even if I weren't in love with you. Because it would hurt _any_one to have their trust betrayed so…" He sighed, his head and eyes lowering as, once again, the fight left him.

Yuugi put up no resistance as Atemu pulled back, shaking his head against the reality of the day. He didn't know what to do… didn't know what to _think_ about what Atemu had just admitted. His heart was thrumming in his chest and he could hear his pulse gushing behind his ears. He didn't realize his mouth was open until he took a breath that proved painful as it raked over his dry tongue. Yuugi brought a hand to his throat and massaged it absently, swallowing to wet his mouth. What was this feeling welling inside of him?

"She wants me to leave you," Yuugi said, not fully aware he was speaking, "for her, of course."

Atemu released an acidic bark of laughter, his eyes still directed at the floor. "Need help packing? You never were any good at it."

Startled by the question, Yuugi shook his head and forced himself back into the moment. "I told her that I didn't want to leave you." He furrowed his brows, focusing on this thought, feeling it thoroughly for the first time. "I… _really_ don't want to leave you." Yuugi chewed on his lip before adding, "And I told her I wouldn't see her anymore."

This was too much for Atemu to absorb so he directed himself to the couch before his legs failed him. He lay back down on his side and threw one arm over his eyes, the other left to dangle over the edge. "Just shoot me now," he mumbled. He didn't need to elaborate; that pretty much summed up his emotions.

Though Yuugi fully agreed with the sentiment, there was a nagging question that just wouldn't let him collapse into theatrical oblivion as his partner just had. Taking the necessary steps over to the couch Yuugi gingerly sat on the edge of the coffee table, facing Atemu, leaning over his knees and being careful not to bump the dangling hand. He gnawed on his thumbnail to build his courage.

"Can I ask you something, Atemu? Dear?" he added.

Atemu waved the hand that wasn't busy covering his face in a weary gesture that implied _Why not? Let's not stop the fun now._

Yuugi nodded in response, even though Atemu couldn't see him. "Do you… really care about me the way… mm, I mean, more than just care?" He winced at the horrible choice of words, but it was too late to take them back now.

"I've already told you that," Atemu sighed.

"Yeah but… but if that's true" – _if you actually love me_ – "then why didn't you fight for me?" Yuugi dropped his hands between his knees and tilted his head towards Atemu. When he didn't receive a response other than his partner turning his head further into the cushions he reached over and took a gentle hold of the arm over Atemu's face. He lifted the limb, which put up minimal resistance, to look upon russet eyes that gazed unseeing in front of them. Resting the arm on the couch in a comfortable position, Yuugi relinquished his hold and carefully brushed a few errant bangs from Atemu's cheek to behind his ear. It surprised him, this act of tenderness he was displaying, not because it was Atemu he was using it on but because of how natural it felt. He hadn't felt naturally tender towards Atemu in a long time.

Atemu, for his part, allowed his eyes to close as Yuugi continued to play with the hair around his ear, causing pleasant, soothing touches that were successful in coaxing his words of confession. "I've tried, aibou," he said softly, his eyes opening as he continued to speak, though he still wasn't looking at Yuugi. He rolled his shoulder in defeat. "I failed. But as long as we were content I didn't see the need to force anything. And when I saw you with her…" Here his eyes flickered over to the younger man, meeting his violet gaze for a moment, which turned his train of thought in a new direction. "What does she offer you that I don't? Out of curiosity."

Yuugi's hand stilled its ministrations in Atemu's hair, coming to a rest on his shoulder before falling off his arm as he pulled himself straight on the coffee table. A sad smile formed on his lips, fleeting as an apparition. "Attention."

Atemu quirked an eyebrow. "Attention," he repeated, deadpan.

Yuugi simply nodded his head.

"Then I think it only fair to repeat the question to you," Atemu said, drawing himself into a sitting position, directly opposite from Yuugi. "Why did you choose to run to her instead of fighting for me?"

Yuugi sucked on his teeth before answering. "It was easier," he confessed. "She cared when you didn't."

Atemu recoiled at the words. "When I did-? When didn't I care, Yuugi?"

Yuugi folded his arms loosely over his stomach, keeping an easy eye on Atemu. "Eight months ago. You haven't cared about much since then." His confidence failed him when he saw the resentment cloud his partner's eyes and his jaw set in determination, and he found himself tightening his arms around his stomach in defense.

"You _ass_hole," Atemu seethed, thrusting his fists into the cushion beneath him to propel himself into a standing position. He only made it halfway when Yuugi stood with him and shoved him back into the couch, where he flailed to regain his balance as Yuugi resumed his seat on the coffee table. He leveled a glare that would melt glass. "I told you not to touch me."

"You also told me to fight for you so that's what I'm doing!" Yuugi shouted. "I can't _do_ that if you constantly run away from the fight!"

"You're not worth fighting with," Atemu retorted. "Not if your whole argument for sleeping with that woman is because I was grieving for my father!"

"What are you talking about?" Yuugi demanded after being forced to toss Atemu into the couch for a second time to make him stay put. "I didn't say anything about your father."

Atemu scoffed, tossing his head in an act of vivid sarcasm. "Then what _else_ happened eight months ago?"

Yuugi opened his mouth to reply, only to find he didn't have anything to say as his eyes widened in startling, horrific understanding. His jaw dropped open as a hand came to cover his mouth.

"Uh-huh," Atemu sneered. "Just as I thought. And you accuse _me_ of not paying attention. I'll tell you why you ran to her," he continued, pain fueling his words as he scooted to the edge of the couch and pointed his finger in Yuugi's shocked face. "It wasn't for attention. It was for _distraction_. Because when _any_thing major happens you run from it! Emotions scare you, especially strong ones, and you couldn't handle it. You couldn't handle the fact that when my father died I needed you _so you ran_." He pulled himself straight, looking down his nose at Yuugi, who hadn't moved except to lower the hand in front of his face down into his lap. "So when was it? The next week, the next _day_ after the funeral?" Atemu narrowed his eyes when a thought occurred to him.

"No," he drawled. "No, even you aren't that cruel. I bet it was the day I didn't want to hang out at Jounouchi's house with the rest of your gang, wasn't it? Yeah, I thought so," Atemu concluded, nodding his head when Yuugi's breath hitched at the truth. "How dare I not want to pretend everything was okay because _they _decided they wanted to have a party. How entirely selfish of me to want your support." These last words were spoken in a harsh whisper and held every once of sorrow and hurt that Atemu had bottled up since his father's abrupt passing. "How entirely generous of you to allow me two weeks to mourn his death."

"Stop," Yuugi pleaded, leaning over his knees to hide from the truth, from the tears he could feel burning his eyes like hot coals. "Please, I didn't-!"

But he couldn't say it, couldn't force the words passed his constricted throat. He'd never connected the events before, but now that Atemu laid them out he couldn't help but see what he had done. Yes, Atemu had played a large part in this mess of a relationship, but Yuugi could no longer deny his active role, or the very real harm he had inflicted in his partner. The truth of the matter was, he _hadn't_ been there for Atemu when his father had died. It had reminded him too much of when his own beloved grandfather had passed that he simply couldn't handle it; he'd never faced his own loss, and so had no idea how to aid Atemu in confronting his. He'd forced a smile to his face, a lightness to his steps and actions, and had demanded that Atemu do the same and when he'd refused to pretend Yuugi had picked a fight and used it as an excuse to run away from his fear.

When at last he raised his head to look at his partner he found Atemu staring resolutely off to the side, arms tight across his chest and his legs stiffly crossed, his one foot bouncing in his agitation. How could he have been so careless? His breath caught in his throat when he noticed the tears gathered at the corners of Atemu's eyes and he understood, finally, just how genuine his partner's emotions were.

"I saw the way you kissed her," Atemu said before Yuugi had a chance to gather himself. His voice had lost its animosity and gained a more somber quality that made Yuugi grimace with guilt. Atemu's eyes lowered to the tip of his foot, and there was a slight pause before he continued. "You must truly love her to kiss her like that."

"I don't," Yuugi countered, his voice rough with strain.

Atemu gave him a disbelieving glance.

"I don't love her," Yuugi reiterated.

"You should go be with her if she makes you that happy."

"She doesn't. And don't tell me she does," Yuugi said irritably. "… how do I kiss her?" he then asked, more softly.

A shrug was all Atemu could offer. "The opposite way you kiss me. Like…" he turned his eyes to look at Yuugi and, upon doing so, allowed his body to sag back into the couch, uncrossing his arms and legs and leaning over his lap with one hand pressed against his forehead. "Like you want to. And enjoy it."

"Oh." That made entirely too much sense in Yuugi's opinion and he berated himself for it. "Do you want me to leave?"

"No." It was the purest word Atemu had spoken this evening.

"Then why would you let me go?"

Atemu gave a parched, humorless chuckle. "Love is a stupid emotion."

Yuugi nodded his agreement. "I completely concur." He placed both hands on the edge of the coffee table, holding the wood gently as he regarded his partner. "You haven't always loved me, have you?" he asked, though it was more statement than question.

"Off and on," Atemu answered truthfully. He peaked at Yuugi from beneath his palm. "You don't always make it easy. It doesn't matter, though," he said, ducking behind his hand again. "I know you don't love me, and I'm not asking you to."

"What are you asking then?"

"That you respect me enough… that you respect _us_ enough to leave if you mean to leave, rather than continue to play these accursed games of ours." Atemu took a deep, cleansing breath that caused his frame to shudder as the tension finally left him while he allowed himself to speak the words he'd wanted to say for months. "We've had eight years together. Most of them pleasant, I would say. But I don't want you to stay because of that. If you can't find happiness with me, then go find it, wherever it is. I don't want to live with someone who rather not have me around. It's too hard."

Well, there wasn't a whole lot Yuugi could say to that request. It was difficult to hear, to say the least, and the swift, defeated silence that settled into the room didn't leave much leeway for creative thoughts for solutions to this dilemma. Yuugi didn't want to be trite, to announce an undying declaration of love that neither of them would believe. To be truthful, he was still having a difficult time comprehending that Atemu loved him. He'd been so convinced that nothing of the sort existed between them, and to have that certainty shattered in the midst of a heated argument…

Yuugi sighed deeply. Atemu had certainly thrown him for a loop today. Several loops. And while Yuugi was feeling metaphorically dizzy from all the unexpected admissions and emotions, there was a part of him that was rather enjoying the ride. It was new, it was different, and – he grinned painfully at the thought as it linked itself to a notion he'd had previously in the day – it was making him _feel_. Wasn't that all he'd wanted in the first place?

Raising his head, Yuugi's eyes caught sight of his partner, sitting hunched over with his hands falling limply just passed his knees, hair a mess and features drawn with stress lines that should never have been. He could also see the trails of tears; not many, not a torrent of sobbing, but simple, genuine releases of pain. Yuugi's heart clenched. Despite his actions, and his words, he'd never intended to hurt Atemu. Never. He was too good a man, too decent a person to deserve the pain Yuugi had inflicted. By god, what had they become?

"I'm sorry," Yuugi said thickly. "I'm so sorry Atemu. I never meant to hurt you like this."

Atemu shrugged off the apology. "There are a lot of things neither of us meant."

"That's no excuse," Yuugi said, shaking his head emphatically. "Don't excuse this. Don't let me get away with it." His hands fisted, unknowingly to him, as a wave of desperation broke over his senses and blurred his vision. "Stop letting me get away with things!"

One eye raised itself to look at Yuugi and reveal its frustration. "I will not fight a pointless battle Yuugi."

Yuugi snapped. Shoving his hands into Atemu's shoulders he stood and pressed him roughly into the couch, hovering over him and allowing all of his emotion to pour out with his glower. "Did you _ever_ consider that the reason I pull all these stunts is so you _will_ put your foot down?! That I fight with you in what is proving to be a vain pursuit for you to react to anything I do with more than passivity?" He ignored the painful grip on his wrists as Atemu fought to remove the hold Yuugi had on him, too immersed in the moment to care about his partner's discomfort. "Why has that never occurred to you? You say you want my attention, well, maybe I want _yours_!"

And with that, Yuugi fisted Atemu's shirt in both his hands and yanked him forward into a brutal kiss before using his body to slam him back into the couch where he could use his body weight to hold the struggling man in place while he forced the kiss to be accepted.

Atemu snarled against Yuugi's mouth, using every ounce of strength to fight against the unwanted contact. He could feel that woman on Yuugi, could clearly picture the two of them rubbing against each other as they shared an open mouth kiss, could smell her and taste her with Yuugi's every movement. "_Get off_!" he yelled against Yuugi's mouth, bracing his feet on the floor and bucking his hips in effort to throw the other man off balance. It almost worked, but Yuugi's elevated position allowed him to compensate and reclaim his dominate pose. Atemu opened his eyes, glaring, warning Yuugi with the intensity of his displeasure. Yuugi met the challenge head on.

"Make me," he whispered harshly, ending the kiss abruptly so he could speak, but not removing his face from Atemu's. "Force the issue. Force me to realize that I love-"

Atemu planted his leg between Yuugi's and used the advantage to kick his partner's foot out from under him, making Yuugi fall awkwardly on top of him. This allowed Atemu the opportunity to grab Yuugi's arms, just below his shoulders, and shove him upwards when he made the two of them stand.

"Stop lying!" he hissed, adding a callous shake to prove his point.

Yuugi shook his head to clear it, returning the scowl directed at him. "That's just it Atemu," he said, grimacing with the strength of the taller man's grip. "I don't think I am."

Atemu didn't believe him. The look on his face said as much.

"I'm not lying to you," Yuugi continued, the sneer slowly receding from his lips and the anger leaving his eyes. "Not anymore."

"You can't prove that," Atemu eventually said, loosening his grip but not relinquishing it completely.

They were both still for several moments, ragged breaths shaking their lungs, their mouths open in their efforts to breathe. Yuugi's eyes creased in thought as he regarded his partner, an urge that had long been absent gradually consuming him. He took a small step forward, undeterred when Atemu jerked his head back at the new closeness, and proceeded to close the distance between them, raising his hand to curl his fingers behind his partner's neck and hold him in place. His eyes were hazy with intent, in direct contrast to Atemu's suspicious look, but Yuugi didn't notice. He only had one thing on his mind.

He wanted to kiss Atemu.

Not in that horridly obligated way he usually did, either. No, he wanted to kiss him as he kissed _her_.

Ignoring the grunt of disagreement that followed the connection of their lips Yuugi held the gentle contact calmly, closing his eyes and remaining tranquil to try and help ease Atemu into the experience. The kiss wasn't pleasant yet, Atemu wasn't responding in any manner other than sporadic struggles to break the contact, but Yuugi wasn't going to give in. He couldn't very well insist that Atemu not let him get away with his fits if he was going to allow Atemu to get away with his own. When he felt fingers touch his chest in a prelude to shoving him away he grabbed them, then interlaced them with his own to trap them against further retaliation. Yuugi held on to that hand as though it were his lifeline, knowing instinctively that should he let it go any chance of staying with Atemu would be lost.

Atemu clenched his eyes shut against the moment, trying fruitlessly to block out the sensation of Yuugi holding on to him, of Yuugi kissing him with _emotion_ even if he couldn't name it; wanting desperately to squash the desire to forget everything that had happened for this opportunity to kiss his willing partner with the love that he'd at first denied, then tried to hide. He didn't want to forgive Yuugi his infidelity. Couldn't let go of the image of Yuugi wrapped around someone else. Didn't want to give in. Realized, as Yuugi opened his mouth just so, in just as hauntingly familiar a fashion as he'd seen him do earlier in the day, as he felt the softer side of his partner's lips, of his personality, that side that Atemu had always known existed, that he had absolutely no hope of resisting.

In one sudden movement Atemu gripped the hand holding onto his own and used his free arm to wrap around Yuugi's waist and yank him against his front, holding him tightly as he took full, aggressive control of the kiss. A surprised mmph! was all Yuugi had time to express as he was quickly dominated, Atemu's mouth working against his own in such a manner that left no room for question or possibility that the kiss wasn't going to happen exactly as Atemu desired. His arm hung in the air to the side in surprise but, slowly, it found itself snaking around Atemu's shoulders, gradually matching the intensity of the grip settled around his waist.

It wasn't long before Yuugi was just as actively involved in the kiss as Atemu was, though he had no intention of taking control. This dominant side of his partner was exciting to Yuugi, making his nerves sing and – oh wow, _yes_, Atemu needed to do that with his tongue again! – his muscles dance in anticipation.

Yuugi pointedly rubbed his body against Atemu's, unable to help the smile that formed when his actions prompted his partner to spin him around and stumble towards the wall, where he found himself pinned in a rough but so much gentler fashion than earlier. Hands roamed over bodies and pulled at clothing, not trying to excite so much as desperate to feel each other, to reassert that the other was still there, that they hadn't fucked up so much as to permanently lose their lover.

Atemu brought his hands to Yuugi's face, holding his head, unable to bring himself to relinquish the kiss despite the growing need to resume adequate breathing. He heard small moans, grunts, little sounds that enticed him to keep going, keep pushing, keep kissing that mouth and teasing that tongue that insisted in deluding him that perhaps, maybe, Yuugi _did_ care and wasn't lying and wasn't _leaving_…

Breaking the heated kissing, due solely to the need to swallow because it had progressed from dry to moist to wet to overpowering in their refusal to control themselves, Atemu and Yuugi found themselves panting as though they had finished something far less innocent than kissing. Eyes were open but bleary, each set lingering on now bruised lips that shone with moisture and lured them into another wrestling match with their mouths.

Yuugi touched the back of his fingers against Atemu's cheeks, just brushing over his eyelids and allowing him to feel the flutter of eyelashes with his tickling touch. It was enough to convey his reluctant want for the kiss to end, and with an endearing sigh his wish was granted.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Yuugi murmured.

"You weren't listening," Atemu half-said around the fingers playing over his lips, occasionally parting them to invite further caresses. "And I wasn't talking."

Yuugi nodded and stretched his back, making room between himself and the wall for the fingers massaging either side of his spine. "So what now? We both vow to do better?"

"No," Atemu sighed, rubbing his nose and forehead against Yuugi's as his eyes slipped close. "No, there's no point. It wouldn't change anything. This," he said, leaning forward as Yuugi tilted his head back and placing a long kiss to the underside of his jaw, below his ear, "doesn't change anything."

Yuugi lowered his head to look Atemu in the eye. "Why not? I think it changes everything."

"Does it?"

Yuugi eventually saw Atemu's point. "Maybe not," he agreed. "Maybe not right away," he amended when Atemu made to pull back and release him. "But what it _does_ prove is that we have something here." He placed his hand flat over Atemu's chest, imploring him not to withdraw. "Something worth saving."

Atemu closed his eyes and turned away, taking a step back, but keeping one arm around Yuugi. "How much of a fight do you want, Yuugi?" He opened his eyes and stared hard at his partner. "How much is this going to mean to you tomorrow? After the panic has gone? After the adrenaline has left you? This, right here, what you're feeling?" He gestured between himself and Yuugi, his head inclined with his meaning. "We can't trust this. Not now."

"Then when?" Yuugi asked. "When will you trust me?"

"_Aibou_…"

"Give me something to work towards Atemu," Yuugi said, closing the distance between them and pressing their cheeks together. "Give us a goal we can surpass." He felt Atemu shiver with his words and pressed himself closer, more than ever wanting to be the reason for his partner's shallow breathes and tremors of pleasure. "Please," he whispered, wrapping his arms around Atemu's chest and hugging him genuinely. "_I'm sorry_."

It took several attempts before Atemu was able to find his voice, his efforts interrupted by the tears he felt on his cheek, though whether they were his or Yuugi's he couldn't tell. Finally he forced a swallow passed the lump in his throat and was able to compel his voice to say, "Th-three weeks." He took a cavernous breath. "If you still feel the same in three weeks-"

"You'll trust me?" _I'll have earned it back?_

Atemu nodded decisively.

"Okay then," Yuugi sighed. He moved his head until he captured Atemu's lips in a tender kiss that was easily accepted. "I'll see you in three weeks then, dear," he mumbled at the end of the kiss.

"I hope so," Atemu whispered.

* * *

_To be concluded…_


	4. Devil's Coin

A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed, read, and supported this story. This scene, as most of mine do, got away from me a bit, and though it feels a bit rough around the edges I want to get it out so I can be done with this story. I hope you enjoy the chapter, and that the ending isn't too unsatisfactory for anyone. I'd love to hear what you think!

Take care, and I'll see you next time!

- Ocean

* * *

Chapter Four – Devil's Coin

"Morning."

Atemu folded the top half of his newspaper so he could peer over it, inclining his head in greeting. "There's coffee if you want it."

"Beautiful," Yuugi crooned as he maneuvered around the table and reached for the cupboard, procuring himself a mug. He was quiet as he prepared his drink, sleep tempting him back to his bed until he took that first sip of caffeine and smiled at his victory of wakefulness. With a chug of his sweetened coffee Yuugi made his way to the table, taking the seat directly to Atemu's side. He beamed with tired eyes at the half-smile he was given as he sat.

"So, any big plans for the day?" Yuugi asked, folding his hand and propping his head lazily upon it.

Atemu shook out his paper and casually folded it, letting it flop on the table so he could address his partner. "Well, I don't know about you, but I have a glorious day of nothing laid out before me, and I plan on-"

"Doing the laundry?" Yuugi interrupted with a toothy grin.

Atemu groaned. "I was going to say 'wasting it thoroughly.'"

"Sounds like doing laundry, to me." Yuugi shared a laugh at the old joke, relaxing easily into what was becoming one of their better morning routines. "Hey."

"Mm?" Atemu responded, standing and making his way over to the refrigerator to grab a couple slices of… to take the entire loaf of bread at Yuugi's interested expression and prepared to make toast.

Yuugi turned in his seat so he wouldn't have to strain his neck to look at Atemu. "Have we ever been to that botanical garden our neighbor is always talking about?"

"Mm… I don't think so," Atemu said, his eyes glazing over as he rooted through his memory, his hands absently counting out four slices of bread and placing two in the toaster. He shook his head lightly when he was satisfied with his answer. "Why do you ask? You have a sudden interest in botany?"

Yuugi smirked, more at the smile that accompanied the jest than the tease itself. "Naw. I just thought it'd be a nice place for us to go sometime. It's the time of year for it," he said, his eyes falling towards the window to examine the lovely spring morning. "I thought it'd be… nice, going somewhere. Just the two of us."

It was quiet before Atemu answered with a soft, "Indeed." He answered the call of the toaster, removing the two toasted slices and replacing them with fresh bread before gathering the butter and jam. Grabbing a clean knife from the drawer he set the plate with the toast, the utensil, and the condiments on the table in front of an eager Yuugi, returning to the counter for his vigil over his own pieces. "So, when were you thinking of this wonderful outing of ours?" Atemu asked, leaning his hip against the countertop.

Yuugi didn't answer right away, thoroughly involved in buttering his toast, applying the orange marmalade, and taking the largest bite his mouth could hold, chewing in delight while his eyes closed. "I was thinking we could go today," he said after swallowing.

"Today?" Atemu's voice revealed his surprise and he turned to look at Yuugi with a question on his features. "But don't you work today?"

"Mm-hmm," Yuugi grunted around another mouthful of toast. "But I don't care. I'll play hooky, I've done it before."

It wasn't until he spoke that Yuugi realized what he said, and a flash of guilt washed over him at the memory the words invoked and the shadow that cast itself over Atemu's eyes. Sighing in frustration at himself Yuugi rubbed a hand through his hair, pushing his plate out into the middle of the table. "Sorry," he said quickly, not wanting the atmosphere to have the chance to develop.

Atemu nodded automatically to the apology, only afterwards hearing it and relaxing, his wide eyes returning to their normal size, knowing that Yuugi hadn't meant anything insidious. He flinched when the toaster popped up his toast, the sound prompting him to get a plate for himself before gathering the slices and resuming his seat at the table. He reached in front of Yuugi and stole his knife, finally able to prepare and enjoy his _own_ breakfast.

"Can you afford the time?" Atemu asked, halting his bite of toast for the question.

"Doesn't really matter," Yuugi muttered, his careful eyes watching his partner eat. He snorted lightly when Atemu gave him a reprimanding glance. "_Yes_, alright? Don't worry. I won't get in trouble for it."

Satisfied, Atemu offered no further complaints and ate his breakfast, Yuugi quickly following suit as his toast beckoned him from the center of the table. When they were done, and Yuugi had collected their plates and placed them in the sink before sitting back down, Atemu leaned forward and poked a single finger into Yuugi's temple.

"What was that for?" Yuugi asked, scrunching up his face.

"I felt like it," was all Atemu said as he reached for his newspaper and continued reading.

"Uh-huh," Yuugi said, not believing for a minute that the act had been purely impulsive. Not really annoyed by it, however, Yuugi decided it was time to broach the topic that had kept him up half the night before. "You know what today is, right?" he asked softly, his head tilting carefully to the side.

Atemu didn't look at him, too engulfed in his paper to actually hear the question. "Do tell?"

"It's four days."

This did catch Atemu's attention, and Yuugi felt a pang of remorse as he saw his partner's handsome features sadden. "Is it, now…" Atemu let trail off, his eyes not seeing the paper in front of him.

"Four days after the three weeks you gave me," Yuugi concluded. He felt it necessary to say the words out loud, to let Atemu know that _he_ knew exactly how much time had passed since that night. "I'm sorry I'm late."

"Late?" Atemu asked, turning his head to look at Yuugi with a soft expression of understanding. "Aibou, you aren't late. It isn't as though I've been keeping time to the exact minute." He hesitated from speaking further when he noticed the look Yuugi was giving him, one that was a little guarded, but certainly set in an expression of determination. "I didn't mean for you to come to me and announce your decision just like that," he was able to say with a bit of effort.

Yuugi didn't respond right away, his silence continuing to unnerve Atemu as the seconds approached minutes of unresponsiveness. That _look_ he was being given was dumbfounding and Atemu didn't know how he was supposed to react to it. Impatience was beginning to nip at his nerves but he squelched it, and it was harder to do than he cared to admit. He also found himself doing something he hadn't done since high school.

Atemu was fidgeting: shifting in his seat, eyebrows drawing taught, lips engaged in a frown, his hands toying with his newspaper, teeth chewing lightly on the side of his tongue.

"What are you thinking about?" Yuugi inquired when he noticed that Atemu wasn't going to stop squirming any time soon. He reached forward and placed his fingertips on top of the nearest wrist, rubbing them gently over skin that was slightly warmer than it should have been.

Atemu's eyes flitted over to the fingers touching him, distant with the distraction of his punctuated thoughts. "Nothing, really," he said.

Yuugi extended his fingers and took a proper hold of Atemu's wrist. "Now don't start that," he accused softly. "Don't go bottling everything up inside and not talking to me."

"Oh, it's really of no importance," Atemu said, though not dismissively, scrubbing at his face after releasing the newspaper. "I was just thinking back to my younger days."

"What about them?" Yuugi pulled himself straight in his chair and scooted the seat closer to Atemu, so now his knee bumped against his partner's thigh. He patted the wrist still in his hand encouragingly, offering a smile when Atemu glanced at him.

"I was a wreck," Atemu chuckled nervously, relaxing into his story by settling both forearms on the table and staring at his and Yuugi's entangled hands. "A lanky, anxious little thing I was. I couldn't even look at someone I thought was attractive without blushing and stuttering." He snorted in good humor. "It was embarrassing."

Yuugi smirked maliciously after humming in interest. "_You_, all shy and vulnerable? I'd like to have seen _that_."

"_Please_," Atemu teased, rolling his eyes. The comment was able to bring some unexpected heat to his cheeks, but thankfully, he was too much of a man to allow it to show. He turned his head to the side anyway, just in case he wasn't as adept at hiding his blush as he believed. "I don't think it was as exciting as you seem to think it was."

Yuugi was intrigued by Atemu's response to his deliberate flirtation, interest highlighting his eyes with the new information. "What happened?" he prompted, grinning lightly while his mind entertained a fantasy involving a bashful Atemu.

"Grew up, I suppose," Atemu mused. He glanced at Yuugi, judging whether or not he wanted to voice his next profession, wondering how it would sound or be received. His eyelids lowered in affection when Yuugi raised his hand and gave a chaste kiss to his palm, continuing to hold the appendage against his chest after giving it his attention.

"I miss it sometimes," Atemu eventually confessed. He readjusted his seat, bowing his head and making himself smaller without affecting the impact of his presence.

"What do you miss about it?" Yuugi was forced to ask when Atemu stopped talking. He placed an arm around his partner's shoulders, pressing his face into a strong neck to nuzzle and coax further words. Yuugi was disappointed when Atemu pulled away from him; not aggressively, but pointedly as the older man methodically rose from his chair and turned around to stand by the sink, his hands resting in the pockets of his pants while he studied the scenery beyond the window.

Yuugi sighed. Apparently he hadn't read Atemu's willingness for physical affection correctly. They had yet to cross that boundary since the fight.

"I miss the simplicity of it," Atemu said, keeping his gaze out the window. "It's who I was… I didn't think about anything else, really. I was just me, and though it was awkward at times, it was true." He paused. "It was also enough."

Yuugi listened to his partner's words, rolling his lips unconsciously. There was a hidden message in that last statement but he was having difficulty picking it out of the jumble of emotion. "Okay," Yuugi said, bringing a hand up to his face and placing his fingers on his lips. "I'm trying to hear you, and I do, but…" He raised his eyes to Atemu's profile, taking in the somber atmosphere. "I don't think I'm getting everything you're saying."

Atemu looked over his shoulder, his expression revealing his skepticism. "You're sure about that?"

The bitterness underlying the words made Yuugi bristle. He didn't like the allegation in the look directed at him and he made it known with his own hardened features. "What the hell Atemu?" he said, leaning forward in his chair and straightening his back. "You don't think I'm trying here?" His eyes creased in annoyance. "You still don't trust me," he said quietly and with a hint of darkness.

Atemu kept looking at Yuugi over his shoulder. He wasn't sure if he _should_ respond. He could feel the emotions bubbling in the back of his throat, sour and foul, and he just knew that if he opened his mouth and said what he really wanted to say… well, it wouldn't be pretty. Yuugi would make certain of that.

Still, if he didn't reply, if he didn't follow through with the point he had risen, then why had he and Yuugi put themselves through the fights and antagonism? It would seem such a waste if they'd gone through all this for naught.

Atemu rolled his head to the side, looking out the window while he gathered his thoughts – and courage – before turning and looking at Yuugi, leaning his back against the sink. He kept his hands in his pockets, not trusting himself to allow them free reign should they reveal his apprehension.

"There's much I could say here, though most of it would be irrelevant. Satisfying, but irrelevant." He paused to allow Yuugi a moment to scowl at him, and though he tried not to, he couldn't help but return it, albeit with less intensity. "What I will say is this: I don't want to pretend to be someone I'm not anymore. Even if it costs me you, I _won't_ do it anymore."

Yuugi's glower darkened, his knuckles whitening with the tightness of his grip on the table and chair, but suddenly his expression softened into reluctant surprise. "Wait, pretend?" He rolled this thought around in his head, trying to link it with Atemu's earlier pronouncement. What did this have to do with him, being himself, and that being enough?

"You…" Yuugi hesitated, biting his tongue. "You're pretending… around me, is that it?" His confidence increased when Atemu sharply moved his eyes to the side in confirmation. "But why? And what?"

"Because I have to," Atemu spat. He took a deep breath in an effort to release the tension in his chest and calm himself. It worked, marginally. "It's what you expect from me. And-!" He huffed. It had been too difficult to curb the rest of that spiteful sentence than it should have been. _And far be it for me to deny _you _anything_. Yes, that certainly would have been a productive addition to the conversation, Atemu thought derisively.

Yuugi sat back in his chair, propping his elbow on the table but leaving his hand to hang over the edge. He frowned at Atemu's cut-off sentence, feeling the anger behind the words that weren't spoken, however... He didn't fight the smile that came precisely because Atemu _hadn't_ allowed his tongue to get the better of him. Yuugi recognized the effort for what it was and it made him feel hopeful, yet cautious. Atemu was teetering on an edge that he couldn't see, and it was apparent to Yuugi that his partner was having an internal battle that was worth respecting, especially considering what was at stake.

"You know," Yuugi began softly, drumming his fingers along the table's edge. He looked at Atemu, satisfied to know the other man was looking at him, even if it was from the corner of his eyes. After a moment he relaxed his posture and crossed one leg over his knee and folded his hands in his lap. "I actually made my decision two weeks ago. Over two weeks ago," he corrected himself.

Atemu grunted in question, raising an eyebrow in the process.

"Yeah," Yuugi nodded. "I figured there was no point in telling you then because you were pretty dead sent on the three weeks timeline. But when that time came… I don't know, I guess I just sensed you weren't ready to hear what I had to say either way." He shrugged, trying to indicate that he wasn't bothered by this. Atemu looked wary, but he was listening, so that was good. "The decision was easy Atemu. Really, it was." Yuugi leaned forward, balancing his arms on his knees and tilting his head at Atemu, offering a small smile of conciliation. "So whatever it is you need to do, do it. Stop pretending, stop being something you're not, stop whatever it is that's hurting you. Because I've stayed with you this long. You aren't going to lose me. There isn't any way you can, not now."

"Follow your instincts," Yuugi whispered when he saw Atemu struggle with himself, saw those eyes clench in effort to restrain whatever he was feeling and his shoulders tense with the effort. "I trust them," he added, eyes lowering at the power behind those three words, at the truthfulness of them, at the love behind them. It was an overwhelming admission. And it felt pretty damn good.

Hearing that Yuugi trusted him – well, at least a part of him if nothing else, apparently was all that Atemu needed. Slamming the wall on his internal battle in absolute refusal to engage in it further he removed his hands from his pockets, turned, and went to the floor at Yuugi's feet, folding his legs beneath him and pressing his cheek into Yuugi's lap, one arm resting above his head on Yuugi's thighs while his other hand held on to his partner's calf muscle. Atemu released a shuddering sigh once he was in position, allowing all pretenses to escape him in that single breath as he waited for what reaction would come.

Yuugi had to scramble to get his upper body out of the way as the taller man collapsed onto him. He made an odd squawk of surprise that was more air than anything because of the suddenness of his movement, and once Atemu had settled in his lap Yuugi's arms remained raised in the air because he didn't know what to do with them. Yuugi was stunned, to put it simply, trying to understand how this display was Atemu _not_ pretending. He felt a shudder run through Atemu's body, straining every muscle before releasing him, and it was this uncharacteristically vulnerable reflex that made Yuugi lower his arms onto his partner to rest uneasily on his back.

"Atemu, what…?" Yuugi tried, but the words faded when he couldn't come up with anything to say.

"I'm not as secure as people think I am," Atemu whispered harshly, his voice so low as to force Yuugi to lean over him in his efforts to hear his words. "I'm not, I'm _not_." His eyes clenched tightly, unable to take the strain of sight as he bared his soul. "Even before you cheated, before I had a reason to be, I've been insecure."

Atemu didn't notice the painful grip on his shirt from Yuugi's fist when he bluntly mentioned the affair.

"I'm not confident, I don't trust everything will be okay, I don't _believe_ everything will always be alright just because someone says it will be! I get scared. I'm afraid, and hesitant, and it kills me every time I have to act like some overcompensating pretentious bastard but I do it and it works and it's accepted and life goes on and everyone believes the lie and I hate them for it, _hate _them, it's a _lie_ a lie and everyone thinks it's the truth and I can't do it anymore-!"

"Atemu!" Yuugi quickly said, fear projecting his voice in his desperation to get his partner to stop his tirade and breathe, for his breaths were interrupted and shallow and his shaking was only getting worse the longer he spoke. He shushed him as an adult would a frightened child, running now confident fingers through Atemu's hair and down his neck, trying to elicit tingling shivers that would compel the rigid body in his lap to relax.

Atemu, for his part, gulped a mouthful of air and nodded in recognition of the command. But he wasn't done speaking.

"Even you believe it," he said quietly, though the slight anger mixed with resignation showed that he was anything but calm. "And you know why? Hm? Because it's all I've ever showed you." Atemu snorted his feelings towards this matter.

Yuugi's chest felt like one of those visual images where they show you four different colored lines, and then an invisible hand grabs their center and twists them into a rough, congested mess that blurs their form. He noticed the real effort it was taking him to make his ribs expand and pull in the amount of air his lungs were accustomed to receiving. "Why is that all you've showed me?" he questioned. He wasn't sure if he entirely believed Atemu's words, but he knew that it was best to play along and at least try to learn from this episode. He wasn't prepared for the answer.

"Because it's all you'll let me."

Yuugi's lips thinned. "I've never told you to be anything."

"No, that isn't how you work," Atemu replied. He moved the hand that was on Yuugi's lower leg up to grip his knee, shifting further into his partner's body, giving the impression that he wanted to get closer while the tone of his voice indicated he wanted to push away. "You aren't direct. Unless, of course," he continued, looking at Yuugi from beneath his bangs, "you intend to strike." Point made, he lowered his eyes to stare listlessly at the floor. "Whenever I tried to relax around you you put me back in my place rather quickly."

"Name a time," Yuugi snapped. He was not enjoying this attack, as though everything were _his_ fault over the past seven years.

Atemu shook his head. He wasn't going to play that game of arguing the semantics of any _one_ occasion.

Yuugi scowled. "_Fine_," he scoffed. "Then if I'm so horrible, so _stifling _to your wounded character, then why the hell are you with me?"

He wasn't anticipating a simple shrug to be his answer, and he found most of his anger melt into curiosity. After a silent moment he repeated the question, with far more grace and consideration.

"My friends liked you," Atemu mumbled. His fingers picked absently at the material covering Yuugi's knee. "My parents liked you. Everyone…" he paused, smoothing the material and moving his flattened palm along Yuugi's outer thigh, "… likes you."

"Hn," Yuugi acknowledge quietly. It wasn't the words he was listening to, as nice as they were to hear. There was a tenderness behind them, an affection that was permeating him as Atemu nuzzled further into his lap, his face coming ever closer to his stomach and his hands relaxing against his body as they took gentle hold of him. Yuugi found himself reacting to the embrace, easing the rough quality of his hold and providing a more comforting, welcoming and encouraging embrace. "And you?"

"Hm," Atemu said with a sad smile. "I liked you. I liked you a lot." He paused.

"That's why you felt you had to pretend," Yuugi said. Atemu nodded, their entanglement making Yuugi feel the movement against his legs, chest, stomach, arms, and neck, where hair tickled his skin. It was nice, having Atemu this close. For the past three weeks, while not avoiding each other, neither had actively reached for extra contact between them. Perhaps that was for the best, Yuugi thought as he closed the distance between them and placed a kiss against Atemu's shirt, between his shoulder blades.

"I wanted you to like me too."

"So why were we so blasé about it?" Yuugi pulled back a bit and placed a kiss to the back of Atemu's neck, smirking at the feeling of his lips touching both skin and the short hairs of his partner's hairline.

For his answer Atemu straightened his back and took aggressive hold of Yuugi's arms, pulling him off the chair to his knees in front of him. "I didn't want to scare you off," Atemu said, his eyes burning with intensity that Yuugi hadn't seen in years. He narrowed his eyes as he scrutinized his partner's reaction. "Does this scare you?"

Yuugi's eyes, wide from the surprise of his rapid change in position, blinked back to their normal size. He looked down Atemu's body, noting the coiled muscles, sensing the power they contained and the control that kept them in place. "No," he said, raising his eyes to meet Atemu's. "I don't see why you think it would."

"You haven't seen _it_ yet," Atemu said.

Yuugi frowned. "Is this… what makes you insecure?" He bent his elbows slowly, so as not to interrupt the grip on him, and hesitated a moment before quickly twisting his arms to break the hold and assert one of his own. Atemu reacted to the movement however, and a brief struggle ensued before Atemu reclaimed his dominant grip, now pinning Yuugi against the leg of the kitchen table. Yuugi's eyes lowered to the hand on his right arm, his head rolling to the side as he took in the sight.

Atemu, determined not to hold himself back and pretend any longer, found himself uncertain about his next move. Yuugi was panting lightly, his lips parted as he calmly scrutinized the hold Atemu had on him. He wasn't sure what to make of the quiet response to his forceful actions.

"It isn't…" he began. He started again. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You think you will?" Yuugi asked, raising an eyebrow while giving him a side glance.

Atemu's eyes creased at the corners. That wasn't the response he'd expected to hear. And his heart was beating a little fast for comfort. "_Yuugi_," he warned.

"What?" Yuugi asked, turning his head to look at Atemu directly. "You think I won't fight back?" He narrowed his eyes, head lowering enough that he had to look _up_ to see his partner. Ever so slowly, a smirk pulled on his lips, and his eyes lit with interest. "Think I wouldn't enjoy it?" he almost purred.

Atemu blinked and looked away, his predatory façade breaking like shattered ice. His hands dropped from Yuugi's arms to rest limply on to floor, and his expression took on one of utter frustration.

Yuugi's face blanked into disbelief. "Wait a minute, what?" he said out loud. "Even when I play along?"

Atemu grunted. "That's the _point_. I _wasn't_ playing." He scrubbed at his face, pushing the heel of his palm into his eye ridge. "God, even when I tell you I'm not, you still fall for the preconceived lie."

"_What_ lie?" Yuugi sighed in exasperation, his hands fisting at his sides.

"That _this_," Atemu said through gritted teeth, reaching forward and spinning Yuugi so his back was to Atemu's front, the taller man's arm securely against the smaller man's shoulders and a hand firmly on his hips. Yuugi couldn't have broken free if he'd tried. "That this aggression, this way that I'm holding you?" he seethed, breathing hot air into Yuugi's ear. "That _this_ is just a game, and not who I really am. That whenever I'm assertive, or domineering, or just fucking _pissed_ is just a phase. That I'm all nice and sensitive and a fucking humanitarian and shit _all_ of the time!"

Atemu took a deep breath, forcing some control into his voice while maintaining his threatening hold on Yuugi, who had yet to do more than stare resolutely in front of him. "You have no idea what goes through my head," Atemu said in a low and promising murmur. "Not a blasted clue about anything to do with me. If you did, you'd _know_ what I want to do to you… What I've wanted to do all these years… _How_ I've wanted to fuck you…"

Yuugi finally turned his eyes to look at Atemu, seeing as how he couldn't move much else than his fingers. "You have a dirty mouth."

Atemu tightened his grip, not to cause pain, but to reprimand the lack of a response.

"So…" Yuugi mused, giving no indication that he was troubled by the position he was in. "When you shoved me against the wall during our last fight… That wasn't in the heat of the moment." He waited for Atemu to shake his head. "And when you nearly choked me?"

"You were being an ass."

Yuugi nodded. He had been, after all. "Is there any part of the man I've lived with for the last seven years that was genuine?"

"Much of him was," Atemu said. "I didn't say that I wasn't a nice guy. Just that there's more to me than that. And it isn't exactly something that is warm and cuddly."

"Well, maybe not _cuddly_," Yuugi agreed, letting his eyes lower, taking in what of Atemu's body he could see. Truth be told, the heat radiating from his partner in his anger and desperation to get his point across was pulsing against Yuugi and he liked it. He leaned back into Atemu enough to add another level of contact between them, an unconscious smile playing on his lips. "But warm? I'd have to differ with you on that."

"_Focus_, Yuugi," Atemu grumbled, rolling his eyes.

"Believe me, you have my full attention." Yuugi shifted his weight, feeling Atemu stiffen but ignoring it as he tried to make himself more comfortable. "Haven't you noticed that yet?"

Atemu looked at Yuugi steadily before lowering his eyes, taking note of the obvious excitement in his partner's body. He lingered on the image a moment before raising his eyes to meet Yuugi, both of them unblinking as the hand Atemu had on Yuugi's hip deliberately moved around the curve to take hold of the area where leg met thigh, made easier by Yuugi spreading his legs to allow room.

"The unexpected?" Atemu asked, his voice respectful of the situation, alluding to the reason behind the excitement. The fist clenched against Yuugi's shoulder began to relax itself and uncurl, but it didn't make it as far as to take an affectionate hold.

Yuugi sucked in a breath between his teeth, the heat from Atemu's hand extremely noticeable against his skin. "A little," he admitted. "More the confidence." He gave Atemu a look that would make most people shudder in inappropriate pleasure but that Atemu took in stride. "You told me you weren't, but I don't see it. I don't get the fear you talk about. That isn't what this feels like."

"I'm terrified," Atemu admitted after a quiet moment. He continued when Yuugi widened his eyes marginally in question. "Are you putting up with this because you have to, or out of some sick sense of owing me?" His voice lowered an octave and hit more than Yuugi's ears when he next spoke. "Or, is there a part of you that likes this?"

Yuugi turned his head away from Atemu in contemplation, his features revealing nothing of the thoughts running through his mind. The hand between his legs squeezed meaningfully, and he licked his lips in response to the jolt that shot through him. His eyes closed when he felt Atemu lean forward and press his lips against the angle in his jaw below his ear, not pushing in a kiss but suggesting that one wasn't far behind.

"No," he said softly, shaking his head, which resulted in him leaning against the face so closely nuzzled in his neck. He let out a single syllable of stressed laughter. "I don't owe you like that. And I've put up with a lot-" he interrupted himself by arching back and tossing his head into Atemu's shoulder, who turned his head to reach the bared throat now exposed to him "-so this is nothing."

"But do you like it?" Atemu asked, his words barely comprehensible as he kept his mouth pushed against Yuugi's neck while he spoke.

Yuugi tilted his head down, his breath leaving him as he felt Atemu's lips move up his neck, along his jaw, and onto his ear, where they parted and encompassed the shell with heated air and the promise of moisture. There was no need for him to say anything. The seductive, gleeful smile he gave Atemu was more than enough to answer the question.

Atemu didn't return the smile. "This isn't a passing fad, Yuugi," he said, eyes swirling with emotion. "I told you, I'm not going to hold myself back anymore."

Yuugi leaned forward until their noses touched, his smile falling into a serious part of his lips to match Atemu's own mouth. "I'm not asking you to. I never asked you to," he whispered. His eyes fell to Atemu's lips, hunger welling inside him, pulling him closer to that mouth and the memories it contained. He halted when he could just feel the plump, hot, moist skin, wanting to revel in the moment as long as possible.

Atemu's eyes were lidded as well, his hand moving down along Yuugi's inner thigh before returning to place, holding that sensitive juncture, feeling every twitch of muscle. "Hm." He held Yuugi a moment longer, silently watching how his flushed partner appeared quite content with this turn of events. He wasn't entirely convinced of the acceptance. It was far too quick, and he knew Yuugi to be a man swift to jump to agreement if it meant him getting what he wanted, only to retract his compliance once he was sated. But still…

Unexpectedly Atemu released Yuugi, slowly and not unkindly, stood, and began to walk out of the kitchen. He paused by the refrigerator when he heard Yuugi squawk in protest and scramble to his knees, leaning over the edge of the table to stare disbelievingly at him. He didn't allow Yuugi to voice his protest, cutting him off before his mouth could open far enough to speak.

"You haven't earned that yet." Atemu turned away, giving a warning glare over his shoulder. "Not even close." He exited the room.

Yuugi scowled, frustrated and agitated in ways he hadn't felt in months. He folded his arms on the table and placed his chin on his hands, mouth twisting into a thoughtful pout. Begrudgingly he admitted that Atemu had a point, but damn that man for teasing him like that, only to pull away and claim superiority. And he meant that affectionately, a little to his surprise, and not in the scathing tones the phrase could be used. He smirked. A little change in them both may not be such a bad thing after all.

He perked up when Atemu walked passed the entrance to the kitchen, straightening the jacket he had acquired from the closet. "Where you going?" Yuugi asked curiously.

"You're taking me to the garden, remember?" Atemu said, raising his voice so it could be heard as he continued towards the front door. His tone made it clear that this was more than an attempt to jar Yuugi's memory.

Yuugi didn't respond immediately, rolling his options in his head. "Ah," he said eventually, nodding and standing in one motion. So be it, then. He'd play along. Besides, if Atemu was going to tell him step by step how to woo him back, it wasn't going to take very long to do, and the rewards… the _rewards _would be…

"Hallelujah."

"Don't bet on it!" Atemu shouted from the front door.

Oh yes, Yuugi grinned. This was going to be _fun_.

New beginnings ofter were.

* * *

- End


End file.
